TEH RAYUK
Now this is the story in 2003
about a strange human-like thing
that was briefly covered in the media
but little to no information was left behind
in 2006 the collaboration
found 2 dozen documents from the 12th century
in almost all cases the stories were identical
I've been in contact with a member of the group
and was able to get some excerpts from their upcoming BUK
a swaggy suicide note
"AHZ AYE PRUHPURR TA DIIIIIIIIIIE AH FELDAT I NED TU ASSAGE ASSIMILAT ASSUAJE ENY GULT R ORGASMZ AYE HAV INTRDECED TRUH DIS AHCT. YU AHL SUHK AN AYE HAT ALL UV YU. EXPESHULY ''HIM''. 4 WUNCE I AWOHK AN FELT HIZ PRESENTS. DEY WUR LUVLY. AHND WUNCE AYE AWHOK ADN SEW HIZ PENUS. WUNSE AGEN I AWEK N HERD IZ VOYSE N LUKD IN2 HIZ AAAAAAAAAAAYEZ! CUNT SLEP CUZ UV WHUT I WOOD AWEK 2 NUXT!!!!! GUDBEE!"
I also found this in this corpse's shreksy ass
"dearest Vinnie,
I have gun fayust for you. he spoke your name"
A journal entry (translated from retard to english)
I have encountered the most terrifying terror. I have encountered the most terrifying terror. I have encountered the most terrifying terror. I visually process his vision organs when I cover mine with my visionorgan lids. they are like bird bones. a distinctive lack of hue. they visually processed me and theoretically stabbed me sharply. his damp digits. I will not lie in my bed and enter a dormant state to regain energy. his vocal communication- (un-visually understandable handwriting)
from a witness
Three seconds ago I had just returned from a trip to Niagger Falls with my family for the 9,001st of Raptor Jesus. we were very exhausted from a day of sitting in some fucking chairs in a car (seriously. how did we feel so tired?) so my husband and I just put our kids into their beds with great force.
after me and my husband finished our hardcore porn-creating we went to sleep. I woke up around 4 and thought he got out of bed. I stole the covers and woke him up. he called me a bitch. I called him a cunt. he then looked at his feet and freaked out, licking my eye in fear and grabbing my boobs for safety. My eyass adjusted to the darkness and I saw what he was freaking out about. there was a naked guy on our bed, I passed it off as a glitch and kept going. suddenly he scrambled from one side of the bed to the other and stared my husband down like the bitch he is. he put his hand on his junk. the naked man scrambled out of the room and towards the kid's room. we stood still for a minute for no reason. when we finally stopped having our brain anuerisms we ran into the kid's room. the creature was gone. our daughter was dying and she said "He is... so have big dick." those were the last words she ever said in her shorts life. my husband drove her to the hospital. neither of them survived. I know why the creature just sat there and stared at my husband. he was talking. I set up some cameras to watch me sleep. I would look through the recordings. I could see him watching me. once I heard a high pitched voice. I slowed down the footage and transcribed it
"Swiggity swooty I'm comin' for dat booty>"
that's what he said to my husband. I did my goddamn research and I learned that this thing is called The Rape. it rapes you. pretty simple.
I haven't seen the Rape since he ruined my life. I know he watched me sleep, so I employed some attack poodles to defend me. he never bothered me again.